when else can i do ?

last night was damira's birthdayy . me and nabila yazid went to ou earlier than the rest to follow damira to find the dress for the day . so we walked around in pain !!! did i mention we were wearing heels ? i wore the 5 inches and she wore 3 inches . this is my second time wearing heels in my life and its a fucking disaster . LOL . my legs were in pain and we were walking around a lot more than we expected . at last damira bought a dress at miss sulfridge and it was at 3 . the rest are coming at 7 . so as usual we hit the pool after met up with birthday girl's boyfriend . we played a lot of games like 6 rounds and as usual , i'm the champion . i won every game i played :p HOW AMAZING YEAHHH ? say yesss !  i should go for a pool competition :p hahahahaha . bajet .

nwayy , a lot of people arrived when we're at the pool place . we played for hours and cost almost 70 bucks . i think the place is just not cheap . to compared with sunway , we only have to pay 15 bucks PER HOUR ! and the place are wayyyyyy better ! they even have a bar okayyyy -.-

so , i barefooted for an hour cause i cant stand in heels . my weight is pressuring me . now i know why fashion is painful . 100% agreeeee . nabila wore heels too and she had blister . she walked kinda funny , i cant stop laughing when i see her walking . but shes my FWEEEEEENN :D my girlfweeeeeen :p love her to death . syameen came along and few other people . it was funnnn at the pool place .

the clock hit 7 and we're out to TGIF for dinner . damira already booked the place two days earlier . as i hoped it was to be, the table was freakin' long . there's like 20-30 people . when i saw them coming , i told syameen about the bill . "i bet someone will not pay enough or didnt pay AT ALL and we're about to go through the "short of cash" term . I BET SO ! " she said yeahh . drama's coming soon . we had fun taking pictures . most of the pictures are with dinni . he's such a lazy ass bummer to upload yesterday and today . he texted me saying he's gonna upload late-errr by today . so i cant show you now . i'll put the pictures in the upcoming post . dont worry ;)

i didnt eat cause me and nab ate earlier that day . i ate spaghetti marinara and shared waffles and she had spaghetti cabonara . imagine the bill was 30 bucks for both of our meals . DAMN CHEAP . we cant believe our eyes at first but it was true enough . hehehe :p i chose the place yawww . see i'm awesome . HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAH . okayy wtv

after the dinner , drama was on . short of cash , 300 bucks ! everything cost 700+ :p lol . i paid for what i had . which was the strawberry lemonade slush . after paying it and damira was upset and moody after what happened . i'm about to get fucked up and me and a few other friends went to chillies . did our thing and ....... the rest are not to be told by anyone . so , yeahh . what a fun night . a lot of laughing gas and i already miss it :(

emo shit

as far as i live , nothing surprise me . i'm learning an advance arab with my arabian friend , i stayed back at school two times in a week and spend it at the field for hours with my skin burning and causes pimples on my face . i realized i'm getting more blurr when it comes to conversation . my hearing sucks . i'm still sick . ichy dotts started to appear on my legs , like everywhere . my school send tons of emails to my mom even homeworks and that sucks to hear her voice shouting across the hall asking whether i've finished it ? i cried once at school cause of the heat and the stressed i've been avoiding all these while helping others . i tend to care about other people than putting myself first . i woke up at 2 pm and now its 3 am and i'm nowhere near to be sleepy . 

so thats it for these past few days . school's fine . i'm so excited to join the gymnast for the extra curricular at school . i think its cool . i'm lame , SO WHAT ? i join the netball team and the teacher advised us to jog at the school field before the school starts . i'm still thinking about it . i do go to school quite early but i dont know anyone in the team who does that ? thinking bout the benefits ; healthy , no need to jog every evening , i'll get enough sleep for sure . 

watching megan fox getting uglier made my life . lol xD she had too much surgery and botox . fuck fakeness holywood celebrities . 

as you can see , i jump to another story so easily and divided it into paragraphs to not make you readers confused . i type whatever's in my mind . its funny when i read it again cause its all messed up . well thats me . i'm nowhere near to be a "smart ass organize nerdy neat" type of girl . i have a very big space to fill up my thoughts with everything at the same time . (y)

regret cant do anything

i ignored you when you told me you love me , i look at you like you're an idiot for waiting , i lost the temper in me when you keep on fighting for attention , i showed you every emotions i have except one , for loving you back . id always loved you in my heart but i never wanted our friendship to be the other way around . we were so close and happy but something came between us or shall i say all of us that include everyone hating me , even you . violence took over . my voice disappeared and i never complain . broke my heart and i never give up on putting it back together . i never give up on you . never in my mind , nor the precious heart that i've been keeping . its a waste of time , its a waste of tears , its a waste of voice for shouting , its a waste of money for the cigarettes , its the waste of life . out of millions of people in this world , i'm still waiting for you ...secretly .

its a crapp

my life is getting stranger every time . its like you walk pass by the mirror everyday and one time you see something else . what i see was me drowning at the end of the day . 

jauhar's leaving us all , nabil specs too , why not all of us leave -..- saddening . bye jauhaaaaaaaaar .

life's a trash

life's a trash . i'm having a bad fever . good times , blast times is not here yet . idk where the hell did it all went  crying every night in my room like a freakin' emo girl -.- i'm fucked up . felt like making a suicide . i was out of my mind , making my own suicide note but fever keeps me away from doing that . i guess allah still loves me . i dream of praying to allah since i've lost my happiness . it just ran away from me and i couldnt chase it back . friends come and go , bestfriends ditch and backstab , what's next ? fml .

its nice to hear someone cares about me but i dont have feelings for that person . i know it will effect him if he knew what i mean , i just wanna be bestfriends . this had happened when i dont love him back , he had forgotten all about me and pushed me away like i'm a dirt . this happens . idk what else to fix . i cant fix everything in life , thats what keeps me frustrated when something happen . as if , i'm not perfect . i know humans are not perfect but to be as perfect as you want to is not impossible .

stoned . if only allah gave us 2 chance to live on earth . means we could die twice . i would be the first to make a suicide on this sort of problems and see how people around me would react .

-fucked up 

school days

1st day of school

it was fine . i met a few people and the other new kid name yana was very friendly . i like her a lot . she funny , bubbly and just fine . reminds me of hanis in bj . i miss bj but well , i dont belong in that town anymore . families are gone . it was tiring at first to come back at 3.30 . felt like a month ! but i didnt sleep after i came back . i did all my homeworks and shitz . LOL , new me this year . i found out what i'm gonna be when i grow up . at last , an ambition i've been waiting for many many years . i'm gonna be an architect . i think its awesome . i'm taking add maths . people said that it was a subject that meant to be hard and gonna smash your brain but i love it . since the first day i studied the subject at home all by myself xD excited . i love algebra and linear equations . i;m weird in my own way . so yeahh .

2nd day of school

at last , i met all of em in the group . damira , nabila yazid , harry potter , al alfi , syameen , juliana , sabrina , jazlin and the rest . they're funny and talks a lot . they may not have the same personality that i'm used to at my old school but its a good way to get a new start . most of em' are in subscience and purescience . only three of us chose arts . me and yana's in arts 1 and poor girl nabila's on her own in arts 2 . she's afraid cause there's no one in the group is with her . but we still hangs out together . even in different classes . cool isnt it ? haha . all of em' bring their phones to school and so did i . its cool . texting with damira at the other class , asking how physics and craps going on and shitz . lol , what do u expect ? i'm fucking bored here !!!

3rd day of school

had a briefing on changing classes . i'm still in arts one . the school is drama free except nabila and sabrina . they fought about something idk what it is but they still dont talk to each other since last year . they hangs out in the same group but dont really talk to each other . for me thats insane . they should've just forgive each other but evryone has EGO ! fuck ego ! haha . yeahh . i was bored in class and i went to talk to a boy name aqif that i never talked to and never planned on talking to him in a million years . LOL , i was effing bored . make me go nuts . i'm like all over the place . so i went and talk to him about stuffs we do outside of school . he's cool . a friend that i would love to be bestfriends . somehow he's weird and acts like he wants to be more  than friends after we chat . i got pranked by adrian ! fugg u . the last bell rings and it was time to go home , i was excited to go home and was rushing and hugging everyone for goodbye .. then there came adrian . he and his bb on his hand , askng for my number and my bb pin . i gave him what he wants and went away . i thought nothing could happen cause its adrian . suddenly it was aqif's phone . YEAH I GOT PRANKED . i think he knew that i wont give him my number so he used adrian to do it -.- we chat a long the way till today .

4th day of school

nothing much happen . it was study study study and buy more exercise books and shitz . zzzzzz

5th day of school

all dressed up for sports events . its just for points . called sukantara . so yeahh . everyone's ready and hit the field . it wasnt a bright sunny day . instead it was just nice . grey clouds covered the bright sun but it didnt rain . i love it the way it is . yeah man ! ended it with a day full of crap . didnt study the whole day but the best part of the school is when we get to go back home early than the rest of the public school . came back at 12.20 . AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!

i;m back home and getting ready to go out to bj . farewell to jauhar . he's going away to RMC . fuck that school . gay school . idk where it is located but i think its pretty far . i hate people come and go . especially to boarding school :( al alfi is going to rmc too! NOOOO ;( FML

may 2011 be a better year

its 6.30 in the morning and i'm wrapped up with the towel , BLOGGING . how weird . well , i just feels like it . so , past few days was okayy . after i got back from australia .. it was devastating at first to breathe in th hot air of malaysia but get used to it after awhile . the flight was TIRING ! felt like i was about to faint at home . my room was sparkling and well organized by my maid . thnks :D

so i'm nervous , anxious , excited , crazy and happy at the same time to meet new people in the new school . especially when i dont know anyone except damira and nabila yazid . hope they'll talk to me :| hope nothing will change . love them to death . i wanna make a new start to my life this year with everything new and nothing old . its quite sad to leave the other school cause i've been studying there for 2 and a half years . memories . people come and go . fight . i was quite a trouble maker for the discipline teachers . running away from the teachers after they saw me skipped their classes :p but now , its different . HOPEFULLY ! finger cross ! :D